The Christmas Season OR How my dog became a nervous wreck.

We were all awake at 5:30 this morning. Two very loud 'bombas' went off in what sounded like the next room. Bombas are fireworks... but usually do not have any visual display just a really big noise. They are routinely set off by families for pretty much any celebration... and firecrackers are every child's favourite toy it would seem. I would like to say that we are growing used to them... but frankly the loud ones still rattle my nerves a bit and cause the dog to shake violently and run to me like a baby to it's mother.

This time of year is particularly celebratory, as you might imagine, and they have Christian festivities leading up to the big day on the 25th almost every day it seems. They have some I've never heard of, and are very particular to Nicaragua... such as "La Purisima" which has been celebrated here for the last 8 or 9 days and reached its epoch yesterday. From an outsiders point of view, this celebration seems to consist of going to church a lot; parading a statue of the Virgin Mary through the streets pretty much constantly; and setting off 'bombas'.

Last night, as we came home from a brief visit out to Mango Rosa we found about 500 people blocking our driveway as they slowly wound their way through the streets following a statue of the 'Virgin' in a half ton truck and accompanied by one of the worst marching bands I think I have ever heard. We reversed direction and went over to El Pozo for a glass of wine!

Here is a thorough description of La Purisima and today's big celebration: "La Griteria".... which will have the entire town shouting at 6pm this evening apparently.

This description is lifted from the ViaNica website at: http://www.vianica.com/go/specials/8-december-celebrations-nicaragua.html


La Purísima

During colonial times, the Spanish brought their religious catholic fervor to Nicaragua, which was embraced in an incredible way by the natives (obviously after being imposed), with a mystical character and intense piety. This is how the popular religious Nicaraguan festivities were born, and in December ‘La Purísima’ is celebrated, one of the most widespread celebrations.

Imagine ‘La Purísima’ like this: a richly decorated altar is placed in a corner of a family house, with a statue of the Virgin Mary‘s image. In front of this altar, a lot of chairs are arranged, that will be occupied by family members, friends, and neighbors invited by the house owners to celebrate its ‘Purísima’. Once all the guests arrive, the celebration starts with prayers to the virgin, but these are alternated with traditional songs. All the assistants accompany with whistles, tambourines and other instruments. While this takes place inside the house, outside some family members fire rockets and the so called ‘caraga cerrada’, (firecrackers) that contribute a lot to the boisterous celebration. Meanwhile the singings and prayers take place, the host distributes to his/her guests fruits, traditional sweets, caramels, traditional drinks, sugar-cane and many other gifts.

‘La Purísima’ is a celebration to the ‘purest conception of Virgin Mary’, taking place on December 8th, according to the catholic calendar. ‘La Purísima’ is a tradition celebrated in all parts of Nicaragua by thousands of Nicaraguan families. These celebrations take place at the end of November and during almost all of December.

‘Purísimas’ are made for devotion or for gratitude to miracles that persons attribute to Virgin Mary. The families, or a couple of members of a family, realize a "novenario" of prayers to the virgin lasting nine days. Sometimes, the first eight days the prayers are private, but the ninth one is celebrated as described previously, but every family puts a little of their own style. It is interesting how each family inherits the image of the virgin from their ancestors; some of these images have been in the same family over a century.

Nowadays, the ‘Purísimas’ are also celebrated by big enterprises and institutions, and even by Nicaraguans living abroad or by Nicaraguan embassies.
La Gritería

Directly related to ‘La Purísima’, this other tradition, called ‘La Gritería, is more boisterous and more massive.

At 6PM every December 7th, a common yell is heard in different cathedrals and churches: Quién causa tanta alegría? (Who causes so much happiness?). This is how another ancient tradition starts along with the massive response ‘La Concepción de María’ (Mary’s Conception).

At that time, in cities and towns people start exploding fireworks and firecrackers. In the biggest cities, it gets so noisy that any uninformed tourist might think that a war has just started in Nicaragua. At midnight, firecrackers explode once again (the same happens at 6AM and 12PM, but on a smaller scale).

During ‘La Gritería’ Virgen Mary is also venerated. It is a celebration used by people to thank the virgin for miracles and it takes place before the official day. Faithful people decorate altars in their houses in a place were it can be seen from the street. In some neighborhoods you can find more than three altars in just one block.

Then, at 6PM sharp, thousands of Nicaraguans go to the streets to ‘shout’ to the virgin (the word gritería could be translated as ‘shouting’), which means visiting each altar and singing to the virgin Maria. This is basically how it is done: people hang around in groups, stop at an altar, intone traditional songs (the same as in ‘La Purísima’), house owners give fruits, candies, toys, instruments to make noise, natural drinks, and other type of gifts; finally, they move on to another altar. House owners who have placed altars wait until another group comes to sing. This is how ‘La Gritería’ is celebrated, lasting until the house owners have no more gifts to give away or until streets have no more singers.

Not only Catholics and religious people participate in this tradition. It is interesting to hear how people who do not know the songs’ lyrics make up the whole song or just sing the end of each phrase. This is a good opportunity for poor people to collect items, and it is interesting to see how people from different social classes participate in ‘La Gritería’

Library Humour and a Quick Note

I'll try and get a 'real post' up soon. Life is full and busy. The weather is cooler now and I need two sheets at night!!!

As many of my friends and 'readers' are librarians, I thought I would share this bit of library humour, courtesy of my mother who forwards the odd joke along with her political bits.

A bloke walks into a Glasgow library and says to the prim librarian, "Excuse me Miss, dey ye hiv ony books on suicide?" To which she stops doing her tasks, looks at him over the top of her glasses and says, "Fook off, ye'll no bring it back!"

Picking Coffee

Nicaragua's tourist industry does not focus exclusively on the development of high end resorts; or even eco-tourism... but is also developing rural and alternative tourism. For example, in Matagalpa we were told of a Coffee Cooperative that hosted tours of the coffee fields.

We drove up to the mountain village and for less than $10 each we were guided on a short hike up the mountain (with our English speaking guide pointing out the names and attributes of various plants along the way); taken to pick coffee for an hour or so and told more about coffee than I'd ever known before; (Did you know that the pulp surrounding the coffee bean inside the berry is quite sweet? I tasted it!) and served a plentiful, if plain, typical peasant lunch.
The skies opened up just as we sat down to lunch so we had a pleasant hour sitting on the porch, digesting our lunch and watching the rain pour down on the lush mountain valley.

Biblioteca Movil

San Juan del Sur's public library operates a mobile library that distributes books to local schools in the 'campo' (country). They invite volunteers to come along on these trips to visit with the kids; help with the crafts projects; assist the kids to pick out books; play sports with them etc.

I was pleased to have two very good friends from Vancouver visiting with me. I know B & G from library circles as they were both librarians. So... the 3 of us decided to spend a day going out with the mobile library. I really enjoyed the day, and hope I will make the time to do this more often. While it would be easy to find fault with the program: not enough books; the books are mostly in bad shape; not enough of the kids take advantage of the program; the teachers don't seem to support reading; the library staff don't seem to know anything about the books... the fact is it isstill doing SOMETHING... and the kids who DO use the service obviously appreciate it and enjoy it, and I believe will ultimately benefit immeasurably from it.

See: http://www.sjdsbiblioteca.org/

Miami Beach

In October I went back to Toronto for a brief visit with my daughter. My flight routing took me through Miami, so on my way back to Nicaragua I decided to spend a few days in Miami Beach. While the largest renascence of the fantastic art-deco architecture in Miami Beach began in the 70's and probably reached it's hey-day in the 90's, renovations continue, and we saw many buildings covered in scaffolding.


We didn't stay in the beautiful, yet slightly unreal, Miami Beach for our entire visit - but visited downtown, Little Havana, Coral Gables, the Cape Florida State Park, and drove through a variety of suburbs and neighborhoods. Miami has a bad reputation... but I kind of liked the place. Like many cities built on the ocean, it offers beautiful views and reasonable access to beaches... what's not to like?

For detailed information on the art-deco architecture of South Miami Beach see: http://www.miamibeach411.com/news/index.php?/news/comments/southbeach-artdeco/

The Rainy Season

I was sitting on my step watching the rain one day last month and thought it might be cool to try and capture it. Downpours like this were a pretty regular event for a couple of months, but right around the first of November, the clouds cleared and we have had pretty clear skies ever since. I guess the rainy season is over!

Mass murder in the kitchen

I just finished an ant mass-murder spree, and now feel like there are about 100 of them crawling on my body! Sometimes when I get up, if we haven't wiped down the counters really well, there will be a swarm of them on the counter... that was this morning. Always a few of them escape when I go after them with a sponge soaked in bleach and crawl up my arms - and then I feel them even when they're not there.

I promise to try and post a few more 'thoughtful' entries soon. Meanwhile...if you'd like to read a good rant on health care, check out John's latest - I'm present in the story.... but remain unnamed. :) http://existentiallyyours.blogspot.com/2008/10/healthy-debate.html



I found this pic through a google images search posted on another blog. If it's yours - let me know and I'll credit it or delete it.

Getting busy at the Galeria

Been busy this past month at the Galeria. Our September show of jewelry wasn't necessarily a financial hit, but it was a beautiful show and the staff were proud because it was the first show the gallery had done that was ready in time. The opening went off without any serious hitches and all in all we did a good job.

Our October show was scheduled for October 23, but just last week the artist canceled because some collector came and bought up his entire inventory! Well... good for him... not so good for us. I had done a fair amount of work on promotional materials for the show, and was pretty happy with the flyers etc. (see below)

Meanwhile, work continues on general promotional materials for the gallery, staff consultations, meeting artists, and planning future shows and programs. I've also been doing a bit of work for the arts festival that will be held in the Central Park on December 6.

We've been having some flooding problems, especially in the studio and in our storage cupboard. There is a major flaw in the roof design and pretty much the entire roof needs to be redone. So... management has decided to close the gallery for the next month while these repairs are conducted. This will give the staff a chance to get the administrative house in order (boy does it need it!) and for me to get the promotional materials finalized. Still tons to do!

Bailey gets measured

This Saturday the first 'farmers market' was held in the Sports Park. We picked up some fresh spinach, basil and green onions and unfortunately missed out on the fresh baked bread! (We'll get there earlier next week). One of the vendors had hung this scale, so I took the opportunity to see if Bailey had lost or gained any weight this last month or so. I switched him to a raw food diet and I haven't been too sure if he is getting enough to eat. Last week he ate a chicken head and neck 5 days, and some Mahi Mahi the other two. About every other day he gets some raw vegetables as well. My friend Kelly snapped this photo of him as I was weighing him. You can see the original shot (as well as some other really beautiful photos) on her blog at Picasso Dreams

Yoga in the jungle

About 3 miles outside of town there is a 'yoga community'. We met the yoga instructor from El Camino del Sol and she invited us to come out to one of her evening classes, which we did. I have to say it is the first time that I have done yoga to the background sound of monkeys howling in the trees. I keep meaning to get back out there for another class (and this time bring my mosquito repellent!)

Picture courtesy of Nicayoga.com

Lago Masaya

On our trip to Juigalpa we were so single-minded about business that we regretfully did not stop to take any pictures, except for these shots of Lago Masaya which lays inside one of the craters of the massive Volcan Masaya.

Road Trip 2

Last week some business took us clear across the country! Well... almost. We went to a city on the other side of Lake Nicaragua called Juigalpa. The drive took 4.5 hours, so to arrive in time for our noon meeting we left San Juan just shortly after 6am. It was the first time I had been anywhere east of Managua, so I was very interested in seeing this new country. It was an absolutely beautiful drive through some of the prettiest valleys in the country. Juigalpa is the capital of Chontales province (actually called departments here) and Chontales is ranching country. Driving by all those pastures I did have to wonder how much jungle had been destroyed to feed our North American taste for beef.

We arrived in plenty of time for our meeting, so took a brief stroll around the central park and browsed some leather worker's stands. Having a coke at the small park cafe, we were approached by two precocious teenage girls who wanted us to help them with their English homework. I decided that's what I needed was a teenage girl to sit and talk to me for a couple of hours every week!

Map copyright GraphicMaps.com

Road Trip / Shopping in Nicaragua

I have been making a list of things I wanted for the house since I arrived, so the other week we set off in the new truck (wanted to see how it managed in 4th gear anyway)on a shopping trip to the Pueblos Blancos. This collection of villages lays in the volcanic highlands just to the south of Managua and about a 90 minute drive from San Juan. Each of the villages is known for a different artisania or handcraft. Our first stop was in San Juan del Oriente, which is one of the two locations in Nicaragua renowned for ceramic arts. (The other being up north in Jinotega province) I wanted to take a look at the 'art' ceramics; but I also wanted to buy some functional plant pots for our deck.












At one of the pottery workshops in San Juan del Oriente.

It was awful quiet in town and I think we were the only tourists I spotted during the entire hour that we wandered from one pottery workshop to the other. Bailey upset the natural dog order in town, as usual, and everywhere we were greeted by barking dogs either eager to meet him, or eager to eat him... I was never too sure which.

Some of the work is absolutely beautiful and the prices are unbelievable! A beautiful vase about 8 to 10 inches high might set you back $10, or $20 if you want a really intricate one!

Since we were ahead of schedule we took the time to go the extra hours drive to the southern outskirts of Managua as there were a couple of errands we wanted to do in the city as well. After lunch in Managua and a brief shopping foray at Comercial Central (where I happily stumbled upon an arts supply store) we headed back to the Pueblos Blancos and to the furniture town of Masatepe. Here we looked at lovely wicker sets of a couch and 2 chairs for the outlandish price of about $500 or a rattan set for about $300! Unfortunately all I needed, or have room for, was a simply folding deck chair which we use both inside and outside.

From Masatepe we headed back to Catarina to stop at one of the dozens of nurseries in this town of plants, to pick up some soil and a couple of flowering shrubs for the pots I had bought earlier.

All in all a very successful shopping trip!


Here are the pots I bought. I bought two of the one below right (they are about 2 feet in diameter) and have planted lettuce; basil and arugula. I have my fingers crossed that I'll be having fresh salad next month! All five pots set me back about $10 I think. The gardenia on the left is doing ok (although not flowering). The bouganvilla however has dropped all it's flowers and is losing it's leaves too. Anyone know anything about tropical gardening?




[While the Pueblos Blancos may have once shone white in the surrounding green jungle, as the houses and roads were all constructed from the chalky pale volcanic ash type soil of the area, today the century old buildings are painted in various colours and one has to do a little research to find out why in the world these towns are called the White Villages)

Local wildlife

The largest, most beautiful butterfly (or was it a moth?) flew into the house the other night. It's wingspan was about 6 inches across when it was in flight, and 4 inches or so when it landed. It landed on the top of the chair and I ran to get my camera and then proceeded to try and get a picture of it. The poor thing was panicking as it tried desperately to find it's way out of the house and would not sit still, making picture taking a bit of a challenge. Finally as it crawled pathetically around on the counter leaving wing dust behind and I was able to get a couple of not very good shots. Then, I turned my back for a minute and it simply disappeared. The next evening, however, we found it, half dead and damp, laying under our dish drainer. It limped out a bit... but I thought for sure it wouldn't survive. We decided to try and get it outside anyway... and sure enough it managed to fly into a nearby tree. About an hour later I went outside and was startled to have the same moth (I'm pretty sure it was the same moth because I've not seen another like it since) fly right by me. I think it was coming back to say 'hello, and thanks'.

On being tickled (and not in 'that' way)

You know how sometimes you're just sitting reading, or sleeping, or doing not much of anything and you feel something tickle your foot or arm? You swear it is something crawling on your skin. You look down, and of course - it's nothing.

Well....9 times out of 10 down here when this happens to me... it is bloody something! This afternoon it was a large fuzzy caterpiller. I instantly exclaimed "Uh!!!" and shook my foot violently, flinging said innocent insect into the trees. Sometimes it's an ant, sometimes some other thing that I don't even want to know the name of ... large, black, with wings and really really ugly.

Fortunately, although I find having insects crawling on me to be startling and mostly very unpleasant.... I'm not really paranoid of insects, so these daily occurrences of being tickled do not give me bad dreams or anything. What they do do, is remind me that it has been a very long time since I lived anywhere near nature at all. When I was a kid growing up on a farm in the prairies... running into caterpillers, ants, and any number of other tiny and ugly creatures was pretty normal.

It's nice to be visited by nature again... I'm liking it. Just keep the little bastards out of my bed, please!

Canadians - 10, Rest of the World - 7

In what could have been called a 'grudge match', had it not been that it was actually requested by the reigning champions, Big Wave Dave's Cavemen beat the Bambu Blitzkrieg in San Juan del Sur's second ever street hockey game yesterday.

On Canada Day (July 1) this year, the first ever street hockey game was held at the Sports Park, with Big Wave Dave leading a team of Canadians to challenge a team of players from anywhere else in the world. You can read about this game (and how it came to be) in our local newsletter, Del Sur . You can also watch a video. Of course I was still in Canada and missed this historic event, but followed it closely via Del Sur as well as personal accounts.

The Canadian team took that initial game, and everyone had such a fabulous time that they decided not to wait an entire year for a re-match, but held a second game yesterday. Again the Canadian team out scored their rivals. One rumour has it that the Canadian team would never have done as well if it hadn't been for some creative recruiting. Posters were apparently placed in a local hospedaje that is favoured amoung young French Canadians. Said posters even (rumour has it) featured the Montreal Canadiens logo. Consequently, the Canadian team was well stacked with fit young men who had grown up playing hockey. The international challengers didn't really stand a chance, given that some of their team members had never before even seen a hockey game.

I have to say it was the most fun I've had watching a hockey game (albeit it was the first hockey game I've watched in years) in a very long time and the only time I have ever seen hockey played in bare feet and flipflops. See DanCesar.com for a great slideshow of the game.

Social Life in SJdS

Contrary to what one might think.... it actually seems easier to have an active social life in this small town than it is in Toronto. Trying to schedule social events in the two months I was in Toronto this summer was a minefield of "how about a week from Tuesday between 7:15 and 8:45?" and "I'm up to my eyeballs in work... give me a call near the end of the month and let's try and hook up."

Monday nights there is a choice of two movie nights in town. Both hosted by different local bars. Tuesday nights there is at least one regular poker night / pot-luck dinner that we have a standing invitation to. This Wednesday afternoon there is a road-hockey 'grudge' match between the Canadian team and the 'rest of the world' team. Wednesday night we are having a few friends over for dinner (and we didn't have to schedule 2 months in advance). Thursday night our friends at the Bambu Beach Club are hosting a party and showing of the Batman movie; and again on Friday night the Bambu Beach Club will hold a pool party to inaugurate their new swimming pool. (The only pool on the beach in all of San Juan!) By Saturday night we will be badly in need of a night off! But you never know what excitement could come up!


Serving cake at John's birthday party at the Bambu Beach Club.

Yo tengo un 'jeep'

Yes.... I bought a 'jeep'! Well, not really a jeep.... a 1996 Toyota 4x4 Landcruiser that is 'jeep style'. This picture is not actually my Landcruiser... but mine looks just like it! It's white and rugged and by all accounts has been well taken care of by both it's previous owners down here. Now, we can haul anything we darn well want, anywhere we darn well want. YeeHa!

Travelling with Dog

Last year when I travelled with my teen daughter (see http://travellingwithteen.blogspot.com ) I opted to leave my Yorkshire terrier, Bailey, at home. Well, not exactly at home. I twisted my sister’s arm, played the ‘if you love me’ card and shipped him out to Edmonton to suffer a prairie winter living at her house.

This year, with a commitment to live in Nicaragua for at least 6 months, I opted to bring him with me. Given that Bailey only weighs 5 pounds, this endeavour is not especially onerous. Nevertheless, there were (at least theoretically) a few hurdles to jump.

Number one: Can he travel on the airplane? While dogs are welcome in the baggage compartment of most airlines, the kicker is that in almost all cases the airlines will not allow this if the temperature at any stop along the journey is projected to be above 80 degrees fahrenheit. Given that all possible routings had transfer spots far south of say, Arizona... that option was definitely out. Fortunately, TACA (the Costa Rican Airline) still allows small dogs on board aircraft, if their carriers can fit under the seat in front of you as carry-on luggage.

On the leg from Toronto to San Salvador, the crew was very flexible and did not blink an eye when I allowed Bailey to spend the majority of the trip sleeping quietly in my lap. Since he whined incessantly in his carry bag, I reckoned the passengers next to me would prefer him quietly sleeping than whining annoyingly. On the short 45 minute journey between San Salvador and Managua the on board crew were much stricter and insisted that he stay in his bag with the bag under the seat. Fortunately the flight was quite empty so I don’t think his whining annoyed that many people and the flight was short.

Number two: Will he be allowed into the country? Research (while conflicting information was found) indicated that I needed two things 1) proof that he had had a rabies shot at least 30 days prior to arrival in Nicaragua and 2) a signed health certificate (preferably translated into Spanish, which I did not do) issued no more than 10 days prior to arrival. I dutifully acquired both documents, but was (rather unsurprisingly) not asked by anyone to produce said documents.

Number three: What will I use as a ‘kennel’? Bailey is accustomed to spending his nights and all hours when I am not at home in his ‘kennel’. He feels safe in it and it keeps him from making a mess in the house. His traditional kennel is hard sided plastic and much to big to bring with me. I considered buying a collapsible kennel, but resisted spending another hunk of money on yet another dog accoutrement. My sister pointed out that we might as well use his travel bag as his permanent kennel, as while small it is big enough for him to curl up in comfortably. Not to mention the fact that Bailey has never been real good at house training and has even soiled his kennel from time to time... our thinking thus being he might stop this nasty habit if his kennel was so small he would not be able to escape from his mess.

The only problem I had with this solution was that his Sherpa Bag collapses in the centre making his ‘home’ a little on the claustrophobic side in my opinion. Using a few cut-to-fit dowels and some duct tape I had hoped to reinforce the top of the bag thus ensuring his ‘roof’ did not collapse in on him. Numerous attempts failed. Apparently about the only thing duct tape will not adhere to, is the inside of a Sherpa Bag. Finally, after arriving here and mulling the problem over I have apparently arrived at a solution. Still using duct tape - this time as a material from which to fashion and then sew into the bag little ‘pockets’ to hold each end of the dowel... I have managed to create a ‘kennel’ that he seems relatively happy with.

Number four: Will he be eaten by the half boxer / half pit-bull Nica dogs that seem to be the breed of choice around here? So far, I am happy to report, Bailey is intact. I keep him on leash when we are out, and by and large the Nica dogs seem to ignore him... of course he makes as much noise as possible every time anything, massive Nica dog or not, passes by our little house... scaring the bejesus out of the workmen, the caretaker’s children and everyone else.

By and large, Bailey is fitting in well. He certainly entertains everyone in town, as it would appear that the vast majority of Nicaraguans have seldom seen a dog so small. Yesterday we got caught in a tropical downpour and both got completely drenched. He looked like the quintessential drowned rat with ears and garnered numerous chuckles from the wise locals taking shelter under every eave and porch as we passed by.

He is, as always, an endless source of amusement to me as well. I especially enjoy watching him jump back from anything that smells different to what he is used to (which, of course, is almost everything). The other day he encountered a large plastic soda bottle, as part of the typical flotsam and jetsam washed ashore by the tide, and was completely flummoxed. Apparently he had never met a soda bottle that smelled like the sea before and was sure it was an alien creature to be approached with extreme caution and then jumped away from quickly before it might rise up to attack him.

Similarly, two nights ago he appeared to discover an insect that was also worthy of extreme suspicion as he repeatedly attempted to sniff it, and jump away from it in fear. Last night he entertained us with his repeated attempts to capture a crab (about 2 inches in diameter) that had somehow found its way all the way from the sea to the top of our hill! I imagine we are in for a few weeks of similar amusement as both Bailey and I adapt to our new home.

New Digs

It has been a long time since I have settled in to a new home. I lived in my last house for almost 7 years, which is the longest I've lived in any house since I left my parent's home over 30 years ago.

My new home is a rental, and it is unlikely that I will remain here for anywhere near 7 years, but nevertheless I will endeavour to make it home. It is not hard to feel at peace here... we live high on the hill overlooking the bay of San Juan del Sur on the Pacific coast of Nicaragua. While it is a hard climb up the hill to get to, the wooded setting and lovely view of the bay certainly make the effort well worth it. During the day the sight of white boats bobbing in the blue waters against a backdrop of green hills is a better view than any art I could hang on my walls, and at night the sound of the waves crashing far below lulls me better than any musical composition could.

The house itself lies in a small development of 9 houses, each a fair distance from one another. While small, it is comfortable and pleasant and our spacious deck is a room of it's own. The entire building is about 16ft wide and 18 ft long and is divided into two halves... one contains the bedroom and bathroom, while the other houses the kitchen and living area. I could complain of the lack of comfortable lounging furniture... but instead I think I will just go out and buy a nice deck chair that we can use both inside and out and will provide a good resting place from which to watch TV. We already have a classic Nicaraguan rocking chair; table and four chairs and a desk.

In the coming weeks I also hope to buy a number of planting pots for our deck in which to plant herbs and leafy greens (lettuce, arugula, spinach, etc.) as they are exceedingly difficult to find in the market here.

Unfortunately all this shopping is going to be a tad difficult as the road to our house is so steep it is all but impassible to anything other than a 4 by 4; and we do not own any vehicle at all.... but I am sure we will work something out. Our next project is to get a large bottle of drinking water up here; and to find a carpenter to build me some frames upon which to stretch canvas, as I am eager to do some painting!

Stay tuned, for more adventures from Casa Pia, Nico Vale, San Jual del Sur.


The front door of "Casa Pia"

Beautiful People

The "Lonely Planet Guide to Nicaragua" describes the unique cultural mix of peoples that make up what are now known as 'Nicaraguans'. Indigenous, African and European cultures are represented. Seven different indigenous cultures are identified and at least 4 different European nations have contributed to the population. After describing all these cultures and their historical roots in Nicaragua the Lonely Planet writer goes on to say: "Mix all that together, simmer for a few hundred years, and you get an uncommonly good-looking people who consider racism a bit silly." I sure can't argue too much with this description, and a recent photo album on the website: DanCesar.com (which is owned and maintained by my friends: Dan and Cesar) certainly documents the beauty of the Nicaraguan people. Check out some wonderful photos of the kids of San Juan del Sur at their recent baseball camp, and see if you don't agree: Baseball Camp In SJDS, Nicaragua

photo credit: Cesar Paniamogan, Jr© 2008

The monster raises it's ugly head (again)

Some mistakes seem never to be behind me, but keep raising their ugly heads like the science fiction monster that refuses to die.

I have been separated from my last 'mistake' for over 5 years now, and legally divorced for 15 months. This troubled union dissolved quite effectively on a late spring evening I would really rather forget, but am not allowed to. For long term readers of this blog (both of you) you will remember that it was an act of violence that ended the marriage and that some time later my estranged husband launched a claim for damages against me and the police in relation to that evening. Apparently he felt that both myself and the police had unnecessarily caused him pain for which we should be made to pay.

Strangely, and amusingly (in a very twisted way) his own claim against us included what he seemed to believe was a 'defense' of his behavior that evening, in which he stated:

• Following the second assault on his person by [me] {assault described as a 'violent and painful slap to his face without warning'}, the Plaintiff {that's him} gently restrained his aggressor {that's me}, placed her on the bed and advised her in a matter-of-fact manner that he could break her neck if he wanted to. [Me] began screaming loudly in an effort to embarrass the Plaintiff and draw attention to herself. Accordingly, the Plaintiff placed a pillow over her mouth to prevent her screaming as it was quite late at night.

The fact that placing a pillow over someone's face also impedes their breathing, seems to be something he was not aware of.

As part of the final divorce settlement he was convinced to sign a release, dropping me in this claim for damages, but apparently has proceeded with his claim against the police. How do I know this? Well.... unfortunately this month I received a letter from his lawyer.

According to his lawyer's letter they "understand that some time ago, [I] confirmed with [my mistake] that [I] would assist in his action against the police." The letter goes on to ask me to please contact them to arrange to visit with them to make a statement.

Just to be clear... I have absolutely no recollection of ever saying I would assist him... and if I did...... well, all I can say is, it must have been under duress.

Receiving this request for a meeting was startling to say the least... other emotions that I experienced (and continue to experience) include horror, amusement, and amazement. Mostly though, I am dismayed by having to re-visit an episode in my life that I had hoped was closed, packaged, and filed completely in my past.

Some have suggested that this man suffers from borderline personality disorder and/or narcissistic personality disorder. I don't know. I don't much care. I do believe this:

Anyone who first threatens my life (both verbally and physically); then attempts to sue me for damages; and THEN asks for my assistance (thinking that there is actually something I could, even if I was willing to, say that could assist him)... is not living in the same reality as most of us.

Will this 'monster' of a mistake of mine, ever be laid to rest?

Cocktails and Crap

Moving out of the country for awhile necessitates the divestment of a fair amount of belongings. Frankly, I have been feeling oppressed by my 'belongings' for quite awhile. I just seem to accumulate stuff. For a librarian, I'm actually pretty good at getting rid of stuff, but nevertheless after a few years it does pile up. All the gifts that people have given me that I don't really need (and in some cases don't really like); all the stuff I bought because I liked it at the time, but don't care so much for anymore... but heh... it's there, so what the hell. It piles up.

I had a garage sale last weekend and I managed to sell a reasonable amount of miscellaneous 'crap', and I have carted a fair amount off to Goodwill already. Today and tomorrow I am trying a slightly different method. I sent invitations out to about 50 friends inviting them to stop by after work for a cocktail, with the one condition that they must take something with them when they leave. Tonight seven friends came by; five of whom I haven't seen in at least a year, so it was great to see them and have a chance to chat. Each one took a bit of something from my living room / shopping room.

It's a win win situation - I get to visit with friends AND I get rid of some 'crap'.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow's cocktail party.

Building creative thinking and self esteem through art

I'm leaving for Nicaragua in August with the intention to work with a community development organization there; specifically to help them with a new program they have which combines art and community development. They recently opened an art gallery, which they hope to turn into a successful business. However they also hope to use the space and the program to promote art and culture in the community. For example, they are currently running an after-school art program for local kids.

Tonight I attended a social get-together sponsored by a local NGO here in Toronto to introduce a representative from a Nicaraguan organization that works with children to support their development using art and education. "Children in rural Nicaragua , like all children, require creative outlets and opportunities to develop their creativity, express themselves and develop self-esteem." (see: http://www.pueblito.org/programs/nicaragua/index.html)

I am reminded of an observation that a friend of mine made about working with children in Guatemala:

"[When they tried to] have the kids draw a jungle animal for a jungle theme along the wall, the kids couldn't come up with ideas as to how to draw any....When we did little english classes the kids were only comfortable copying exactly what my friend would write down on our little chalk board- improvising and coming up with their own answers just didn't happen. When we did storytelling in the classrooms there (my friend M did the reading!) they were in chaotic, cinderblock classrooms completely devoid of art, colour, pictures that you see in classrooms here. The kids fought over the books we brought with us (endearing a sentiment if not a little violent at times when they would hit each other over the head with the books to get at them!) All the more reinforced the importance of arts and creativity in children's lives."

Perhaps our little gallery in San Juan will be able to make a difference in some children's lives.

Escape from 'Relationship Purgatory"

Why does it sometimes take too long to do what we know is best for us? Why do smokers keep smoking? alcoholics keep drinking? gamblers keep gambling? Why do people in dissatisfying relationships stay in them?

Somewhere I picked up this description of addiction:

The addictive system always presents itself in a panic situation. Beguiled by cynicism it makes promises that it can not deliver. It enslaves as it consumes what life still exists to the desperate victim. It does not matter how unreal, how ugly or how demanding the substitute is, it is better than no substitute to the overwhelmed and insecure self.

I probably spent too long in the relationship I called the purgatory relationship. See previous post: Relationship Purgatory. Dragging out the inevitable mostly just made the pain last longer... of course there were good days and good times (after all, it wasn't a BAD relationship - he was/is a great man - but it just wasn't going where I needed/wanted it to go)... but the difference between purgatory and hell is a razor's edge.

For one prone to the seduction of the addictive system, making the break from the things we love that aren't good for us seems one of the biggest challenges in life. I think the key is in learning to nurture our 'overwhelmed and insecure' selves, thereby building inner strength. With our 'selves' intact it becomes a bit easier to live without the addiction we have used to substitute for what we really need; or if we are really lucky we actually find we no longer need that substitute at all.

I miss that man... but I don't need that relationship. One addiction down... at least one to go.

New Look

I've gotten tired of all that 'green'! Plus... this blog is going to take a bit of a turn I think, as my life takes a bit of a turn... so it's time for a new look!

Maybe I should get a new hairstyle too!

LOL

Paper, paper and more paper

Leaving Canada for an indefinite period of time provides a wonderful opportunity to seriously weed out of my life all the unnecessary STUFF that one accumulates. I am not what one would normally call a pack-rat. For one thing, I have lived in this house for almost 7 years and that is the longest I have lived anywhere since leaving my childhood home at the age of 17. This somewhat nomadic life has necessarily meant that I have not accumulated an enormous amount of things. However, I am as guilty as the next person of collecting STUFF. I will not divest myself of everything... I will store some furniture and other necessities; as there is as good a chance that I will return to Canada within a year or two as not. At least for now, I can't commit to a total break with life here.

So, my days are filled with creating piles:

1. sell or give away
2. store
3. recycle
4. throw away

I have already filled about 5 large garbage bags with paper for the recycling bin! It is unbelievable the amount of paper that can pile up in one's life. As a friend of mine once remarked about life...."one thing THEY don't tell you about is the filing"... well... I have filed FAR too much is my life and now am embracing the infamous 'File 13'.

Geographic Depression?

I have been battling depression for most of my life.... it is a fact and one that I am no longer angry about. We all have our little burdens to bear and for whatever emotional, chemical or genetic reason I have been burdened and blessed with a fragile psyche. In the main I have learned strategies for coping with my affliction, and it has been quite a while since I have visited the really really dark place that depression can take you to. I still visit the grey places fairly often and expect I always will.

From January to May of this year I lived in a small beach town in Nicaragua (San Juan del Sur), surrounded by odd and interesting people and very blessed with a new and caring companion. This combination proved very good for my affliction and happiness came easy.

I am back in Toronto now and it is good to visit my friends and spend time with my daughter again. However, I find it much harder here and I am again visiting the grey places far more often. Today, I found myself wondering... is it possible that this PLACE makes me depressed?

I had always loved living in Toronto.... but I can't do it anymore. My airline ticket is purchased. I return to Nicaragua in August.

It might help if the f***ing sun would shine! LOL

Shock Doctrine - A book review (of sorts)

An old friend here in Nicaragua is wondering how to approach Canadians for support for the alternative Sandinista party, the MRS (Movimiento Reconstruccion Sandinista). I advised that the first question that they would need to answer would be “Why should Canadians be interested...what about Nicaragua would galvanize or inspire people into taking any kind of action?”

Back in the 80s a variety of progressive sectors of Canadian (and other nations) society were attracted to the Sandinista revolution here because what the FSLN was trying to do at that time represented an alternative to the global status quo that we were already fearing then. Little Nicaragua, by overthrowing a U.S. supported brutal regime and throwing their collective energy into policies and programs that supported the people rather than the corporate elite was a tiny shining beacon in the darkness for many.

The early Sandinistas had good role models to follow. In the two decades before the triumph of the Sandinista revolution in 1979, a wave of leftist movements had swept through much of Latin America and dominated popular culture in much of South America. As Naomi Klein puts it “... it was the poetry of Pablo Neruda, the folk music of Victor Jara and Mercedes Sosa, the liberation theology of the Third World Priests, the emancipatory theater of Augusto Boal, the radical pedagogy of Paulo Freire, the revolutionary journalism of Eduardo Galeano and [Rodolfo] Walsh. It was legendary heroes and martyrs of past and recent history from José Gervasio Artigas to Simón Bolívar to Che Guevara.” (Klein, N. 2007. The shock doctrine: the rise of disaster capitalism” p.104) While ‘revolutions’ in Chile and Argentina had already been defeated in blood baths largely designed by the forces of global capitalism (ie the United States) by 1979, this did not deter the Sandinistas. It was this heroic attempt to provide Nicaraguans with a life of dignity and democracy (not to mention free education, free healthcare, their own land, and employment) that attracted so many people to form solidarity organizations and provide support to Nicaragua.

In the last couple of decades there has not seemed to be too many ‘shining beacons’ and much of the world was been thrown into ‘survival mode’ it seems. Klein’s book, ‘The shock doctrine: the rise of disaster capitalism’, which I have just finished reading, explains the reasons that so many of us have been pushed into ‘survival mode’. If it has felt like ‘survival mode’ for us in the ‘first world’ it has been 3000% times worst for the majority of people in the world.

Klein defines ‘the shock doctrine’ as the “use of public disorientation following massive collective shocks - wars, terrorist attacks, natural disasters - to push through highly unpopular economic shock therapy. Sometimes, when the first two shocks don’t succeed in wiping out all resistance, a third is employed: that of the electrode in the prison cell or of the Taser gun” (from the flyleaf). Klein’s research is so incredibly thorough (including over 50 pages of notes and references) it is almost daunting for we ‘normal’ writers and thinkers. Her book “explodes the myth that the global free market triumphed democratically. ... she traces the intellectual origins of disaster capitalism back to the University of Chicago’s economics department under Milton Friedman, whose influence is still felt around the world. ‘The Shock Doctrine’ draws new and surprising connections among economic policy, ‘shock and awe’ warfare and the covert CIA-funded experiments in electroshock and sensory deprivation that shaped the torture manuals used today in Guatánamo Bay.” (from the flyleaf) The same techniques that were first ‘reseached’ in McGill University labs in Montreal and then ‘perfected’ in places like Pinochet’s Chile; Samosa’s Nicaragua; and in the dirty wars of El Salvador, Guatemala and so many other places where people dared to ask for some control over their own lands and lives.

“As Klein shows how the deliberate use of the shock doctrine produced world-changing events, from Pinochet’s coup in Chile in 1973 to the Tiananmen Square Massacre in 1989 and the collapse of the Soviet Union in 1991, she tells a story radically different from the one we usually hear.” (from the flyleaf)

As you might imagine, reading Klein’s book was in itself sometimes an exercise in ‘shock’ and I often felt ill, frustrated, and really really angry while reading it. I needed to take frequent ‘mental health breaks’ from my reading and it took me over 2 weeks to get through the 450+ pages. Her writing is easy to read.... it is the content that is so so difficult to face - yet ultimately rewarding, exhilarating, and hopeful.

So - what does Nicaragua offer now that might interest Canadians? What does this tiny country have to teach us? What are they doing here that might give us that sense of hope again that change is possible? I’m afraid I don’t as yet have that answer. However, I do think that the MRS is more committed to the Sandinista agenda that once provided us that ‘beacon’ of hope, than the current government of the FSLN. This may be reason enough for Canadians to pay attention and support one of the poorest nations in this hemisphere, and the MRS as the leadership most likely to deliver.

I do believe that Latin America in general is, again, offering us a model. Klein’s last chapter is one of hope (thank god). Entitled “Shock wears off: the rise of people’s reconstruction’, the chapter details some examples of the backlash against global capitalism. Some of these examples are possibly just as scary as disaster capitalism. For example, the rise of religious fundamentalism is cited as one response.

However, in Latin America left and/or centre left governments are taking control again and “the task of the region’s new left...has become a matter of taking the detritus of globalization and putting it back to work” (p. 455) and Klein cites a number of examples, from the peasant farmer cooperatives in Brazil; the recovered companies movement in Argentina; and the more than 100,000 worker co-ops in Bolivia that manage much of the state infrastructure.

Even more remarkable is that they are now saying NO to such bastions of disaster capitalism as the IMF, the World Bank and the US government. As of the writing of the book, Brazil had refused “to enter into a new agreement with the IMF. Nicaragua is negotiating to quit the fund, Venezuela has withdrawn from both the IMF and the World Bank, and even Argentina, Washington’s former “model pupil,” has been part of the trend. In his 2007 State of the Union address, President Néstor Kirchner said that the country’s foreign creditors had told him, ‘You must have an agreement with the International Fund to be able to pay the debt.’ We say to them, ‘Sirs, we are sovereign. We want to pay the debt, but no way in hell are we going to make an agreement again with the IMF.” As a result, the IMF, supremely powerful in the eighties and nineties, is no longer a force on the continent. In 2005, Latin America made up 80 percent of the IMF’s total lending portfolio; in 2007, the content represented just 1 percent - a sea of change in only two years. “There is life after the IMF,” Kirchner declared, “and it’s a good life”.” (p. 457) The World Bank is being likewise rejected. “In April 2007, Ecuador’s president, Rafael Correa, revealed that he had suspended all loans from the banks and declared the institution’s representative in Ecuador persona non grata - an extraordinary step. Two years earlier, Correa explained, the World Bank had used a $100 million loan to defeat economic legislation that would have redistributed oil revenues to the country’s poor. ‘Ecuador is a sovereign country and we will not stand for extortion from this international bureaucracy,’ he said.” (p.457)

As Klein points out “it stands to reason that the revolt against neoliberalism would be in it’s most advanced stage in Latin America - as inhabitants of the first shock lab, Latin Americans have had the most time to recover their bearings.” (p. 458) It is for this reason, I think, that North Americans in particular will begin looking again to Latin America for guidance in how to organize our social movements to fight against the forces that attempt to convince us that social and economic justice is an impossible goal. Again, like in the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s ‘idealist’ North Americans may begin to take their inspiration from this popular culture of Pablo Neruda, Victor Jara, Mercedes Sosa, liberation theology, Ernesto Cardinal, Augusto Sandino, Emiliano Zapato, Augusto Boal, Paulo Freire, Eduardo Galeano, Silvio Rodriquez, Rodolfo Walsh, Simón Bolívar, Che Guevara... and so so many of the dead to whom we owe it not to lose hope in a version/vision of the world that we can be proud of.

¡El pueblo unido jamás será vencido!
¡No Pasaran!

Damaged Trust

One of the things that my last marriage, my last husband, did was damage my already fragile trust in men. Worse than that though, is that it/he damaged my trust in myself; I question my ability to make good choices in men. And now, when I find myself getting close to a man; having feelings for him it appears that at times the slightest thing may throw me into a state of doubt. “Will he turn out to be as harmful as the last one?”

Walking with a boyfriend, I suddenly think I detect a sense of disgust or judgment in him, and immediately I flash to that personality that harmed me so. “Is he the same?” I ask myself. “Will he turn out to be as negative and harmful to me?” “Is everything good that I have seen in him so far, just a temporary state - just a show of seduction?”

My fear is great; but it is my fear and I must tread carefully not to confuse my fear with the reality of this person who so far has done me no harm and shown me only respect and caring.

Losing the capacity for conflict

I had been led to believe that all relationships are fraught with difficulty.... that it is always just a matter of degree and the primary thing to learn is how to ‘manage’ these conflicts or differences. While each of the primary intimate relationships I have had in my life brought me some joy or pleasure, all have also been war zones. It is no surprise, therefore, that all have ended - and usually unpleasantly.

While there were a few ‘loves’ prior to my twentieth birthday, my first major relationship began in my twentieth year. He was smart and funny and I was drawn to him for these reasons. Ultimately, and with the wisdom of retrospect, I recognize that we were doomed because we did not have shared values and I did not know myself well enough to understand that this was important or even to fully understand what my values were, necessarily. We fought. I was often frustrated and lonely. I left for a love that was born of need and passion.

I loved the next love passionately, and we enjoyed an amazing physical relationship and shared history and values. The passion did not stop in the bedroom.... and we fought just as passionately. I’m not sure what about exactly... except that I have come to understand that while brilliant, he is a person of great pain, and his pain has crippled him so badly that he has become incapable of maturing, of finding balance or lasting joy. His cynicism and pain, while often bitingly amusing is also capable of being directed with venom at those he loves.

When I left I had such a big hole in my heart that I lost 15 pounds in a month and couldn’t engage properly with another man for over three years. I played with non-monogamous relationships and made a concerted effort to build friendships with women; as well as beginning a very long journey of personal therapy that was to last off and on for the next 20 or more years. I began to look inward at who I was and what was important to me. I fell in love with causes, and found some sense of purpose.

After three years I began to feel the pull for the ‘partnership’ again; and in retrospect I think my biological clock had begun to tick a little louder. He was young, gentle, kind, and he loved me. I ignored some very important early signals and we lived happily and relatively peacefully for a few years. We had a beautiful child and we were in love with both each other and the child. But the ‘real world’ has a way of intruding on a gentle way of being... and we were incompatible in our ways of dealing with these demands. Stress was incompatible with our relationship and we fought... we fought often... we fought with bitterness and pain. I felt abandoned, lonely, and on my own. I left for a love that promised strength and protection.

I was duped. The strength and protection was a mirage. Perhaps a mirage born of my own need to see what I wanted or what my exhausted self needed to see. I fell in love, again, with the wounded child. Perhaps I was always falling in love with the wounded child.... the wounded child within? This time it almost killed me and left me doubtful of my ability to ever chose a love that would be rewarding. Fortunately, it also drove me deeper into therapy and left me with a greatly reduced capacity for conflict.

I am, apparently, a very very slow learner. All my life I have been a fighter... I have fought to be accepted, I have fought to be loved, I have fought to be heard, I have fought to have my needs met, and all it has gotten me is the emotional shit kicked out of me. It has slowly dawned on me that it is really quite possible to have happy rewarding relationships that do not include regular, painful conflict. Whoever, or whatever, led me to believe that fighting was an essential part of relationships set me up. While it might have been true that I needed to fight during one period of my personal development; I held on to this practise for far to long. I needed to learn what is worth fighting for, and how to do it in a non destructive manner.

I have finally learned that if the dynamics of a certain relationship seems to require that I feel the need to fight to be heard, or have my needs met then I am quite likely much better off without that relationship. I have learned, that I can, without much pain, walk away from these toxic relationships - whether temporarily or permanently. Energy spent fighting can so much more productively be placed in other relationships - ones that do not demand that I fight. Life is too short, as they say, and the world is full of people and possible relationships that I am missing by expending unnecessary negative energy on relationships, that while possibly full of love, are also full of pain and suffering.

My capacity for conflict has been, finally, beaten (by myself and others) out of me. At least that is my most fervent hope.

Commitment Anxiety

Steve Martin said it so well in the final lines of "Shop Girl":

"How could I miss a girl that I had kept at a distance, so that I wouldn't miss her when she was gone?"