Some mistakes seem never to be behind me, but keep raising their ugly heads like the science fiction monster that refuses to die.
I have been separated from my last 'mistake' for over 5 years now, and legally divorced for 15 months. This troubled union dissolved quite effectively on a late spring evening I would really rather forget, but am not allowed to. For long term readers of this blog (both of you) you will remember that it was an act of violence that ended the marriage and that some time later my estranged husband launched a claim for damages against me and the police in relation to that evening. Apparently he felt that both myself and the police had unnecessarily caused him pain for which we should be made to pay.
Strangely, and amusingly (in a very twisted way) his own claim against us included what he seemed to believe was a 'defense' of his behavior that evening, in which he stated:
- Following the second assault on his person by [me] {assault described as a 'violent and painful slap to his face without warning'}, the Plaintiff {that's him} gently restrained his aggressor {that's me}, placed her on the bed and advised her in a matter-of-fact manner that he could break her neck if he wanted to. [Me] began screaming loudly in an effort to embarrass the Plaintiff and draw attention to herself. Accordingly, the Plaintiff placed a pillow over her mouth to prevent her screaming as it was quite late at night.
The fact that placing a pillow over someone's face also impedes their breathing, seems to be something he was not aware of.
As part of the final divorce settlement he was convinced to sign a release, dropping me in this claim for damages, but apparently has proceeded with his claim against the police. How do I know this? Well.... unfortunately this month I received a letter from his lawyer.
According to his lawyer's letter they "understand that some time ago, [I] confirmed with [my mistake] that [I] would assist in his action against the police." The letter goes on to ask me to please contact them to arrange to visit with them to make a statement.
Just to be clear... I have absolutely no recollection of ever saying I would assist him... and if I did...... well, all I can say is, it must have been under duress.
Receiving this request for a meeting was startling to say the least... other emotions that I experienced (and continue to experience) include horror, amusement, and amazement. Mostly though, I am dismayed by having to re-visit an episode in my life that I had hoped was closed, packaged, and filed completely in my past.
Some have suggested that this man suffers from borderline personality disorder and/or narcissistic personality disorder. I don't know. I don't much care. I do believe this:
Anyone who first threatens my life (both verbally and physically); then attempts to sue me for damages; and THEN asks for my assistance (thinking that there is actually something I could, even if I was willing to, say that could assist him)... is not living in the same reality as most of us.
Will this 'monster' of a mistake of mine, ever be laid to rest?
The "Lonely Planet Guide to Nicaragua" describes the unique cultural mix of peoples that make up what are now known as 'Nicaraguans'. Indigenous, African and European cultures are represented. Seven different indigenous cultures are identified and at least 4 different European nations have contributed to the population. After describing all these cultures and their historical roots in Nicaragua the Lonely Planet writer goes on to say: "Mix all that together, simmer for a few hundred years, and you get an uncommonly good-looking people who consider racism a bit silly." I sure can't argue too much with this description, and a recent photo album on the website: DanCesar.com (which is owned and maintained by my friends: Dan and Cesar) certainly documents the beauty of the Nicaraguan people. Check out some wonderful photos of the kids of San Juan del Sur at their recent baseball camp, and see if you don't agree: Baseball Camp In SJDS, Nicaragua
Posts
