When there is a disconnect

S has been out of town about 90 percent of the last 6 weeks. I've found myself surfing the online dating sites again. It's weird. I am very conflicted about it. We haven't made any promises or commitments to one another. I'm fully confident that he would not change in his attitude or behaviour to me, should he know that I am flirting a little with other men. I quite enjoy the conversations, the flirting, the attention.

However, what I really want is to be doing all my flirting with him. I don't care that he is out of town - I care that when he is, he is almost completely unavailable to me. I think we have discussed this and I think we understand one another's position.

I tend to follow my instincts in these things. Which of course we all know has gotten me into trouble on at least one occasion. I think/hope I have learned when it is best to pull the plug on a relationship/friendship. No matter how strong the attraction, no matter how intense the desire, no matter how charming or enticing the object.... if it doesn't respect me and my thoughts - it is not to be kept.

S does not disrespect me. Nor does he disrespect himself. He challenges me to behave in my own best interest. He accepts that I feel the way I do and does not belittle me for it.
Although he does not feel capable of meeting my feelings with similiar feelings of his own, he offers me the feelings he does have for me.

If I am not deluding myself, then in some ways it may be the best relationship I've had so far in my life. At least in one sense of communication we are highly successful - we seem to have agreed to accept and respect that we are not always on the same page. What, I think, we try and focus on, is the things we do agree on.