On being GGG

GGG is a term coined by Dan Savage, a popular advice columnist, and means "good, giving and game". It generally refers to the ideal for healthy human sexuality: that a partner should be "good, giving and game" when presented with their partner's fantasy. Like Savage, I too believe that in a good relationship partners should strive to be GGG. Frankly - if you've matched yourself with someone for whom you can't be GGG - perhaps you might want to re-think your choice of partner.

While Dan uses GGG solely in regards to sexual requests, I'm sure that is mostly because he writes primarily about sexual relationships and would agree with my assertion that we should strive to be GGG in response to all of our partner's requests. What, I wonder, is the point of being in a relationship if you don't have a reasonable expectation that any request you could make would be treated with respect and a GGG attitude. The key here is, of course, is that you both agree to what is within the realm of a 'reasonable' request.

One evening, while in the company of girlfriends, the conversation turned to body hair removal. The overwhelming consensus was: "I AM NOT removing my pubic hair and any guy who asks me too can take a hike!" "It's unnatural and I don't want to be with any man who wants me to be unnatural". I was a tad surprised. I am reasonably sure that every woman in the room shaved their legs, probably shaved their arm pits; cut their hair, used deodorant and toothpaste and probably some makeup. Apparently these are all 'natural' practises, but removing their pubic hair isn't. Go figure.

The overwhelming trend in 'beauty' these days is hairlessness. A shaved pussy is all the rage apparently. I think these women were reacting to this trend. Since they have been shaving their legs and using toothpaste most of their lives, these practises have been accepted as normal and natural. Shaving our pubic hair has become more common during our adult lives and is therefore a little harder for some women to accept as OK, let alone normal and natural. OK - I get that part - the part that stuck in my craw was the strong reaction they expressed to shaving because a 'man' might ask them to.

I've noticed this reaction before from people. Sometimes it seems like people will go out of their way NOT to do something that their partners request. The attitude seems to be: "if he/she asks me to do 'x' then they aren't accepting me the way I am." What does that kind of attitude do to communication in a relationship? It's the standard power play. The one who withholds requests will have power. But for how much longer will they have a happy relationship?

I've had all kinds of requests from lovers and almost all have been pretty easy to do, really. How hard is it to shave anyway? or take off all my jewellery? or wear something particular? or not leave my clothes on the floor? or do the dishes when I've eaten? or or or.... Of course, I fully expect reciprocal GGG - as we all should.

My reaction if a man wants me to shave my pussy? "Sure hon, if you'll shave your balls." Can make for a fun evening of GGG!