Thursday, February 08, 2007

A wandering mind

The hardest thing I've had to learn, and the most important, is that not everyone sees the world the way I see it; or thinks the way I do; or experiences the world the way I do, or expects the same things as I do. I am not always sure if I behave consistently with this lesson - but I do try.

I am more than reasonably irritated when others behave in ways that suggest they expect that others DO see, think, experience and expect the same way that they do. Judgement is extraordinarily annoying. I hate it when I catch myself behaving judgementally.

But it really seems to me that this incongruency lies at the heart of most conflicts that people experience, be they big or small. Of course, there is that one little problem that we all do have our limits... and there will always be those whose limits one cannot accept.

I just finished reading "We have to talk about Kevin", a captivating and disturbing novel that explores the process of one mother coming to terms with being the mother of a mass murder-er. Like most of us I would find it very difficult to not be judgemental of a mass-murderer's way of 'being' in the world.

Watching CSI last night, and one character says to another about a murderer: "How does one cross that line?" and the other character responds: "I don't think they cross the line. I think they were born on the other side of it."

Nature vs nurture.... the enduring question.

From judgemental behaviour to the enduring question - a wandering mind at work.

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