I often consider why I find it difficult to do what so many of my friends do; or what is often recommended to women in my single situation: Why don't I just get on with my life and enjoy being single? Stop looking for or hoping for a relationship with a significant other.
My therapist says I am a frustrated romantic. And to his credit, he does not say this like it is a bad thing.
I say I am a 'best friend' kind of person. As much as I like my own company and am an independent person.... it remains that I honestly experience more joy sharing moments with someone than experiencing them alone.
I have dabbled a little again lately with dating.... thinking perhaps it would be healthier for me than 'putting all my eggs in one basket'. Especially a basket that seems to have a fairly weak bottom and has moved half way across the world. It's been relatively disastrous. The pickings are slim. Plus.... I have to admit.... I'm not sure my heart is really into it much.
What, I wonder were the strange combinations of influences and personality traits that made me a romantic?
I do, however, cling to the belief that one day it will all come together for me. I will have matured enough to chose a S/O with whom I can have the best friend love that I yearn for.
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