Unlike the legendary Alfhild - I have not (yet) had the wisdom to wait for my equal before succumbing to the temptation of marriage. Forty something years old, a myriad of relationships, marriages, lovers and liaisons and I seem barely closer to choosing a good partner.
Normally you would expect someone as useless at choosing men as I am to have a childhood history of bad relationships with men. I don't! I spent a lot of my formative (under 5) years with my father, uncle, and grandfather. I loved them all. They were all men worthy of respect. They are treated me exceptionally well. They were all kind, decent people. The closest they came to violence was going on male bonding hunting trips every fall.
Many women give up on men by my age. After all, by and large the majority female opinion is that with relatively few exceptions - men suck! But as my friend R says - I am perpetually optimistic in love. Also perpetually stupid she might have added, but kindly didn't.
The latest candidate has thrown yet another wobbly today and now I face going to a friend's birthday party without him when I had happily anticipated going with him. This one can't decide to be with me and can't decide to be without me. What's my excuse for tolerating this semi-abusive drama? He is actually a really good man. There are so few of them.
Like probably 35,000 other 40 something women - this blog is about my journey with men. Perhaps by the end of it I will be closer to understanding why I take so many bad turns on this journey.
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