People are hurting.
Everywhere I look, people are hurting.
And they try so desperately to soothe their own pain. They feel worthless and powerless and they will do anything to make that feeling go away. Too often, we believe that if we can impress others, we will prove our own worth - to them and to ourselves. People will lie, steal, cheat, and otherwise hurt others in atttempts to impress others.
We believe that if we impress others, we prove our worth. We will soothe the pain inside.
There is a certain kind of agressiveness that happens everyday in this attempt to soothe the pain. I was watching a scene from the sacharine film "Pay it Forward" the other day. An incarcerated street punk claims that he is the one who invented the whole idea. He wants the reporter to believe that he is this smart; this giving; this thoughtful; this worthy. He wants to believe it himself.
The partner or boss who belittles and abuses others - he wants them to believe he has power - he wants to believe he has power. He wants to soothe the powerlessness within.
It seems more common in men.
It breaks my heart.
Friday, February 23, 2007
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Classic V-day Bitterness
On my ideal Valentines day one or more of the following would happen:
1.) a huge and beautiful bouquet of flowers will be delivered to my door, sent by the object of my desire.... roses, would be ok.... lilies would be better.... calla lillies and red roses together might prove unbelievable and irresistable.
2.) the object of my desire, whom I have been unable to see for awhile, would show up unexpectedly at my door.... fortunately I would have for some unknown reason just finished grooming and dressing as if I had a hot date, and look so good his heart would melt on the spot.
3.) diamonds are good too.
Do you think I may have been just a 'little' influenced by marketing campaigns?
Guess what? None of the above happened today. For that matter none of the above has ever happened to me. I did get a happy V day email though.
I'm going to celebrate "disapointment in love" tonight with a girlfriend by burning all existing pictures of the last horrible excuse for a husband I had. Or at least pretend and drink a lot of wine!
stickgirl comic courtesy of: http://stickgal.blogspot.com/
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Foodie Foolishness
One of my closest friends is a 'foodie'.... meaning that she makes her living in the food/cooking business. In her work, she comes into contact with some of Toronto's most famous 'foodies'. What a lot of nonsense! (Make no mistake... I am not making fun of my friend's work... I respect her business a lot and she would be amoung the first to admit that the whole 'food' world is full of pretense and silliness, not to mention back-biting).
Anyway.... last Saturday four of us were to go out for dinner, and three out of four of us were interested in going to a steakhouse. We debated back and forth the pros and cons of going to an established chain whose name has three letters, or to one of the many 'fine dining' steak houses in town. Now, I don't eat beef.... so I really didn't have too much opinion one way or the other. While I am extremely suspicous of the abilities of any chain kitchen to produce anything but mediocre quasi-intstitutional food.... I am not a steak connoisseur. Besides, I tend to be far more interested in the companionship, conversation, and red wine than I'll ever be about the food. Suffice to say ... the proponents of the 3-letter chain restaurant won the little-debated debate.
One of the deciding arguments presented in this non-debate was that a number of 'foodies' had recently remarked that they believed that for your money the 3-letter chain steakhouse was better than said small steakhouse with the grand reputation.
HUH!!!! Shows what they know!
While I did contemplate the fish special at about $30.00; I decided that the chance that what I received I would feel was worth $30.00 was too steep a risk for me. I chose the combo side of 3 vegetables and a side of rice pillaf for a total of about $13.00. I figured if I chose something pretty hard to really fuck up, and the price was not too outrageous I wouldn't do too bad.
Well.... one of us had one 'overcooked' lobster tail for about $18.00; one of us had steak for about $30.00 they felt tasted 'old', one of us had prime rib that was "pretty good" for about $30.00. And of course, I had vegetables.
Well.... you be the judge.... was this good value for money?
Besides, for the first half of the evening the music was too loud and horrible and the waiter didn't offer to hang our coats.
On the plus side, we picked a pretty good bottle of $40 something California Merlot and the company was terrific!!!!
Anyway.... last Saturday four of us were to go out for dinner, and three out of four of us were interested in going to a steakhouse. We debated back and forth the pros and cons of going to an established chain whose name has three letters, or to one of the many 'fine dining' steak houses in town. Now, I don't eat beef.... so I really didn't have too much opinion one way or the other. While I am extremely suspicous of the abilities of any chain kitchen to produce anything but mediocre quasi-intstitutional food.... I am not a steak connoisseur. Besides, I tend to be far more interested in the companionship, conversation, and red wine than I'll ever be about the food. Suffice to say ... the proponents of the 3-letter chain restaurant won the little-debated debate.
One of the deciding arguments presented in this non-debate was that a number of 'foodies' had recently remarked that they believed that for your money the 3-letter chain steakhouse was better than said small steakhouse with the grand reputation.
HUH!!!! Shows what they know!
While I did contemplate the fish special at about $30.00; I decided that the chance that what I received I would feel was worth $30.00 was too steep a risk for me. I chose the combo side of 3 vegetables and a side of rice pillaf for a total of about $13.00. I figured if I chose something pretty hard to really fuck up, and the price was not too outrageous I wouldn't do too bad.
Well.... one of us had one 'overcooked' lobster tail for about $18.00; one of us had steak for about $30.00 they felt tasted 'old', one of us had prime rib that was "pretty good" for about $30.00. And of course, I had vegetables.
Well.... you be the judge.... was this good value for money?
Besides, for the first half of the evening the music was too loud and horrible and the waiter didn't offer to hang our coats.
On the plus side, we picked a pretty good bottle of $40 something California Merlot and the company was terrific!!!!
Thursday, February 08, 2007
A wandering mind
The hardest thing I've had to learn, and the most important, is that not everyone sees the world the way I see it; or thinks the way I do; or experiences the world the way I do, or expects the same things as I do. I am not always sure if I behave consistently with this lesson - but I do try.
I am more than reasonably irritated when others behave in ways that suggest they expect that others DO see, think, experience and expect the same way that they do. Judgement is extraordinarily annoying. I hate it when I catch myself behaving judgementally.
But it really seems to me that this incongruency lies at the heart of most conflicts that people experience, be they big or small. Of course, there is that one little problem that we all do have our limits... and there will always be those whose limits one cannot accept.
I just finished reading "We have to talk about Kevin", a captivating and disturbing novel that explores the process of one mother coming to terms with being the mother of a mass murder-er. Like most of us I would find it very difficult to not be judgemental of a mass-murderer's way of 'being' in the world.
Watching CSI last night, and one character says to another about a murderer: "How does one cross that line?" and the other character responds: "I don't think they cross the line. I think they were born on the other side of it."
Nature vs nurture.... the enduring question.
From judgemental behaviour to the enduring question - a wandering mind at work.
I am more than reasonably irritated when others behave in ways that suggest they expect that others DO see, think, experience and expect the same way that they do. Judgement is extraordinarily annoying. I hate it when I catch myself behaving judgementally.
But it really seems to me that this incongruency lies at the heart of most conflicts that people experience, be they big or small. Of course, there is that one little problem that we all do have our limits... and there will always be those whose limits one cannot accept.
I just finished reading "We have to talk about Kevin", a captivating and disturbing novel that explores the process of one mother coming to terms with being the mother of a mass murder-er. Like most of us I would find it very difficult to not be judgemental of a mass-murderer's way of 'being' in the world.
Watching CSI last night, and one character says to another about a murderer: "How does one cross that line?" and the other character responds: "I don't think they cross the line. I think they were born on the other side of it."
Nature vs nurture.... the enduring question.
From judgemental behaviour to the enduring question - a wandering mind at work.
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