Young ones

I met the cutest young one tonight.

Generally I'm not too interested in young ones. But this one is an articulate genius reader/writer. Seriously.... wow.... what a soft spot for me. The artists. The cute young artists.... hmmmm.

I met him at a local pub. Just out walking the dog and stopped in for a pint. We yacked about social networking; computers - are they good or bad; gaming; the beat writers; Henry Miller and Anais Nin; crazy behviours of pre-teen girls; his parents marraige; my professional environment. All in less than an hour!

He manages a great local bookstore/music store - mostly used stuff - but not exclusively. The store has a great reputation and has been a staple in the neighborhood for a long time.

[long time = more than 10 years. I think there was a time and a place where neighborhood 'institutions' were much older than 10 years. What does that say?]

I think I may drop in the bookstore a bit more often. I don't want an affair with this young one.... but there is always room in my life for an articulate genius reader/writer.

Parting.... is not that sweet.... but there is sorrow

My number one guy and I had a fight this weekend. We rarely have fights. It's one of the reasons he is my number one guy. But he is moving away. Far away. It was a job he couldn't turn down over a job that is burning him out. I understand the decision.

I want to spend as much time together as possible before he moves. He, in a way, has already left and does not feel compelled to spend more time together... but perhaps even less. Thus.... the fight.

I interpret this as "Well, if I was important to you then you would find it hard to leave me and want to spend as much time as possible with me while you still could. Ergo... I must not be very important to you". He just says he looks at it differently and thinks maybe it is better that we don't see too much of one another, since he is moving away and it is unlikely we will be able to continue having a relationship.

While I agree that large distance is a major hurdle to a relationship.... I am not ready to give up the possibility just yet. Apparently he is. I conclude (perhaps incorrectly) that he is using the move as an excuse to separate from me without taking personal responsibility for the relationship ending. He doesn't have to end the relationship... it will end itself because of distance.

Every guy I get involved with always seems so different from the others at first. This one is wonderful for so many reasons....but ultimately there is something common with all of them... they are unavailable. Their love is unavailable.

Which brings me to a most perplexing question.... do I chose unavailable men because when push comes to shove I am unavailable?

We have resolved the fight, but nothing changes. We will see each other a few more times before he leaves. I will cry a lot. He will move. Then it will be next year and we'll just have to see what happens then.

Where are those millionaires again? LOL

Bring on the Millionaires

A new dating service is being launched in Toronto today. The Millionaires Club. I'm not joking.

Apparently it has been operating successfully in the U.S. for awhile. The idea (so they say) is to assist busy eligible rich men to find 'quality' (read: exceptionally beautifula and intelligent) women versus the flighty golddiggers they generally run in to.

While the website seems to indicate that 'quality' also means 'young'... I think I may see if there are any millionaires out there interested in a moderatly beautiful, quite intelligent, 'mature' woman (that would be me!)

I know many people will poo poo this latest adventure.... but heh .... what do I have to lose? At the best I will meet the perfect man who also has money! I know chances are slim cause it's probably an oxymoron: my perfect man and a rich man, but at the worst I will spend some time filling out a form and never hear from them again. Somewhere in the middle I 'may' get to have a few really great dinners, meet a completely different kind of person than I usually meet, and have fodder for the blog!

Stay tuned for adventures in millionaire land!

a girl's catch 22

Even at my mature age, I find there are times when I become insecure about a man's interest in me: are they 'just' interested in sex? or do they appreciate alll my other wonderful qualities? Men don't seem to worry too much about such silly insecurities. It's a girl thing.... a catch 22 .... we are supposed to be good at sex to attract and keep men.... but we are also supposed to be modest about it and 'pretend' not to be.... and if we are desired only for sex... then we are being used and disrespected.....

Why does society like to fuck up something as good as fucking?

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I celebrated my 47th birthday last Friday with a wonderful dinner with 15 of my closest friends, followed by a foray to a local nightclub. The next day I saw some girlfriends and someone asked me if I had gotten 'laid' on my birthday. I said "Yes. Of course. It was my birthday!" :-)

One of my friends looked surprised ,as she had been at the dinner, and asked: "Who? Who?" I smiled and said - "don't you think it's enough that you know I got laid.... I think I'll keep the 'who' to myself." Of course, it's also possible I was making the whole thing up, isn't it. ;-)

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When men attempt bold gestures, generally it's considered romantic. When women do it, it's often considered desperate or psychotic. (Carrie from 'Sex and the City')